Titanic Spa, Yorkshire

Titanic Spa

Pregnant, tired and stressed, I decided to haul myself to Titanic Spa for a pick-me-up, and boy was it needed. Nestled in the beautiful West Yorkshire Colne Valley and housed in an old mill, Titanic Spa is the perfect place to escape the daily grind.

The former textile mill, converted to apartments and spa, a few miles outside Huddersfield and within easy reach of York, Leeds and Manchester, stands proud and Victorian in the valley, surrounded by woodland.

Claiming to be the UK’s first eco-spa, it’s a carbon-neutral building with solar panels and its own borehole providing pure water. The approach and frontage are impressive and there’s a real sense of valley-bottom serenity.

However, the proximity of the restaurant to the reception area means that rather than be greeted with oceanic spa aromas on entry you’re bombarded with beef Bolognese smells. These smells are pleasant enough on their own terms but when you’ve come to pretend you’re in a remote 5-star Caribbean resort, they don’t do much to inspire. But that’s a miniature gripe really when compared with the rest of the experience.

The spa itself is immaculate. Exposed brick walls, wooden-clad chairs and large beanbags in the waiting area make for a cool, calm atmosphere. My therapist, Alyson, came to get me and her calm, soft voice immediately relaxed me. It may sound trifling but you can have all the exposed brick and mood music in the world but if your therapist has a screechy voice or an overbearing nature, it can put a person right off.

Anyway she didn’t. Her voice was soporific and calming and she gently talked me through what she was going to do (an Elemis Exotic Moisture Dew facial). She asked lots of questions about my lifestyle and proceeded to “diagnose” my skin by running her hands over it gently and correctly determining that I didn’t drink half enough water. She also asked about my diet, which pleased and heartened me.

She whipped my socks off (future note: just because you’re only having a facial doesn’t mean you have an excuse to wear yesterday’s socks and not paint your toenails properly), massaged my feet and hands and then proceeded with the facial which comprised various stages of mask, hot towel and cleanser. Each stage was talked through gently with questions throughout. Then came the mask and the scalp massage. The scalp massage. It was so, so good that I almost cried when it ended.

Throughout my facial there was background music, obviously chosen for its sleepy beat and languidness. Which is fine when it’s bland, anonymous mood music but when the Titanic theme or Radiohead’s Karma Police suddenly comes up, it can be a little distracting. But, casting memories of long university nights aside, I tried to relax into the sounds.

Facilities at the spa are gorgeous. The sauna and steam room areas are bedecked in blue tiles and, again, immaculate. The pool is a pleasing square shape and designed for lounging luxuriously.

Overnight accommodation is good quality but not lush. Thirty of the building’s apartments are put aside for spa visitors/overnight guests. The rest of them are owned or rented by young, hip professionals. And they’re good, if basic. Laminate flooring and minimalist furniture sit in airy rooms overlooking woodland, some with balconies, most with mezzanine bedrooms. I have stayed in more sumptuous accommodation but, again, the cleanliness and calmness cannot be faulted.

To round off my spa experience, I dined in the Titanic Bistro, a nicely decorated and minimalist dining area. Most diners there were all-day spa-visitors so had identikit brown dressing gowns, jokes to share and birthdays to celebrate.

I am still trying to decide whether the food at Titanic is disappointing or entirely appropriate. Buffet-style, there’s a choice of beef Bolognese and new potatoes or a vegetable curry with rice, plus salad items. There’s a touch of the school dinner about it all and it seems a little incongruous with the sumptuous wine menu and not-cheap hot drinks (£2.25 for an espresso).

It’s as though it can’t decide whether it’s a posh restaurant or a spa-café. But, spotted dick and goulash memories aside, the service was excellent and the tucker good quality. And maybe when you’ve had a swim, a facial and a steam, perhaps the last thing you want is a slap-up three-course banquet.

I wouldn’t ever go to Titanic Spa purely to eat, but next time I need a day’s relaxation, it’s first on my list.

Titanic Spa
Low Westwood Lane, Linthwaite
Huddersfield, HD7 5UN
Tel: 0845 410 3333.
Website: www.titanicspa.com
Price: The 55-minute Elemis Exotic Moisture Dew facial costs £55. Titanic Spa is running a special Valentine’s offer throughout February for £145-165 per person, including overnight stay with breakfast, buffet lunch and two-course evening meal, plus use of the spa facilities and one treatment (Full Body Massage or Skin Specific Facial).